We are so utterly focussed these days on what could be, that we are robbing ourselves of what is. Babies in utero are popped onto private school waiting lists. We research our next holiday while on our current one, poolside from our iPads. We have things floating around in online shopping carts. We have wish lists on websites, things highlighted on Netflix to watch later, stacks of books we will read soon. When we finally land the big promotion, what will be spend the money on? If we win the lottery, what would we do with all the money…sound familiar?
We are in the thick of an era of future fatigue. So much planning. So much sucking up present unhappiness because just around the corner, it will all be okay. We are so future focussed that it’s ok to now pretty much detest our days because in the soon to come fantastical future, everything will be okay. We work like dogs and don’t see our friends and are burnt out and exhausted because (we hope) it’ll all be worth it in the end.
Well guess what, there is no bucket of gold at the end if you’re not already on a rainbow. If we don’t enjoy what we’re doing, and take each day as a gift, relish each moment (and they won’t all by shiny happy ones) then we are not even close to living. We must learn to love what’s happening now, and if we don’t love it, be brave enough to change it, or our mindsets around it.
When we are so wrapped up in future projections of what might be, we miss out on what actually is.
My personal moments when I know I am really living, and not future projecting are…
When I wake each morning and take a moment to feel alive, to just lie there and feel my body awaken. It’s not instantly turning off my alarm to check social media.
Living is when I turn my damn mobile on silent so I can actually sit with my friend and have coffee and enjoy their company fully. It is not picking up my mobile to have a micro flick while they get water glasses or go to the bathroom, it’s sitting there and gazing around and heaven for bid – just waiting for them to return with presence – this is living.
Living is sitting down to eat lunch, and chewing each mouthful slowly savouring every bite, and chatting with my families or friends instead of walking down the street inhaling a sandwich between meetings.
Living is playing music while I cook dinner at home, and having Marley sit on the kitchen bench with me and listen to her jabber on about minor details in her day. When we all feel pushed for time I don’t make the time to hear her stories, she has to do her homework and the family is split off in different rooms attending to tasks. This makes me want to cry writing this, as nothing is more important to me than her little thoughts about the world.
Living is when I have a million things to do, yet still take the time to walk Honey up the road with Arran and sit at Alimentari and drink a coffee just the two of us, with no agenda, just hanging out. Living is not when I convince myself in a resentful fluster I have too much on for such an indulgence.
My point is, my favourite parts of my day are little moments of joy. They’re not the ‘big wins’ or about money or ticking boxes. They’re moments in time that pull me into the present moment and take me out of the fatigue of being flustered about the future. We need more of these, they should be our every moment.
What are yours?